Parenting is a tough job, in between scheduling their time at home school, and other activities. We oftentimes find ourselves too exhausted to do anything else, and our own ‘me time’ plans take a back-row seat. As exhausting as it may be, however, we remain committed to seeing that our children have the best form of upbringing we can give to them.
Sophia and I are always reviewing our own parenting methods as our children get a little older every day. We realize that what works for them in one age group will fail in the next. What’s a parent to do, then? Well first let’s take a genuine look at childhood and adolescence, two phases of growing up that we as parents may vaguely remember, but we do if only for the great parts of it. What we tend to have foggy memories of is that when we were younger we had our own culture and depending on the popular social culture at the time it took many different forms.
I’ll give you an example, When I was 11 or 12, my brother and I found it cool to wear our clothes backward due to the popular song “Jump” by Kriss Kross. The music created by this group and others represented the youth of our generation, and it’s always nice to hear what later generations think of the music popular when we (gen y-ish 😂) were younger.
Children as young as 2 begin to learn and mimic cultural constructs, such as playing fair, how to play with others, sharing, don’t hit, etc. Yet, these are all things that must be taught. Our children aren’t born with these constructs, we (parents) teach it to them – at least in the beginning stages when they are toddlers.
Yet something tends to happen as our children get older, and they go from earnest little learners working to please their parents to school-age children and the adolescence. For a growing number of parents, the strange phenomenon of losing parental authority is becoming a reality. One that has them at an absolute loss at what to do in order to regain control and continue guiding their children.
Reviving Parenting Strategies
‘KH’ is a single mom that is having trouble with her teenage daughter doing simple household chores and is unresponsive to the typical punishments 21rst century parents cling to, such as taking away cellphones and other digital devices, video games, and restricting their teens indoors. Parents are experiencing many more issues of disrespect from their children engaging in risky and illegal activity to using profane language towards their parents and elders. So in order to help parents who are facing such challenging behavior from their children we compiled a list of strategies and resources to aid them.
Taking Authority as a Parent.
It seems simple enough doesn’t it. But the best first step towards being a better parent, is to be a more authoritative parent. Now, I don’t mean authoritative in the sense of stricter, but rather an authoritative parent. To be honest, families need authority in order to function and it is the essential role of parents to be the governing authorities. For many of the issues that parents are now facing that don’t require a qualified therapist can be settled with authoritative parenting. Now let’s not get Authoritative parenting confused with Authoritarian parenting. Many parents we at Writing Elite talk to do (unwittingly) get the two confused.
I’ve always loved some of the interesting, and entertaining examples ‘tv’ dads that give us a humorous but true to life look at what authoritative and authoritarian parents look like. Simply put Authoritative parents lead with firmness, fairness, consistency and compassion, while Authoritarian parents try to lead with fear. We’ll go into more details in a later post, but let’s continue with the rest of how we can revive our parenting styles for the best benefit of our children.
Perhaps it may be only my opinion, but children today tend to lack an essential characteristic. It just seems like more and more youth value humility less. You only need to observe youth culture to get a better understanding of how more and more young people lack some quality related to humility. American culture isn’t exactly friendly to anything close to resembling meekness. Yet, one of the most important traits you should be guiding your children to develop is a healthy sense of humility. The perspective that you, like anyone are human; prone to mistakes as well as capable of success. It then leads to how you treat others, and once that all sinks in your child will grow up with a better skill with which to view the larger world around them.
Let’s face it, life has gotten pretty hectic for us as parents over the last year. We had to learn to adapt to wearing many hats, not in the workplace but in the home as well. Many of us took on the role of our children’s teacher becoming more involved with classwork and seeing our children more in-depth as students. However as busy and hectic as life has gotten through the pandemic, we should continue to seek opportunities to enjoy our children. I know what you’re thinking, “… but we see them everyday…”. And, while that may true, as we often say, children thrive on the quality of the time that we spend with them, it’s like food for their growing mind and overall health. So as busy of a parent as you maybe, it’s essential that you and your spouse set aside truly quality time with your children. Whether it’s an outing in the park, a hike along a trail, or even a competitive video or board game with the family when the weather doesn’t allow outdoors play. Do something fun with your kids today! (Hey, that rhymed 😂🤙🏾)
Teach the meaning of life
Finally, but by no means the least; is teaching your children what it means to truly live. After all humankind has been seeking for the meaning of life since the beginning of history, and every generation has had their own philosophy on what that is. We’ll make it a little easier, because as simple as the question is; it can become a very long philosophical discourse. It’s the experience itself. To live and to live a full life, and what that means is different for each individual, but you’ll know you have it; when you can look at every aspect of your life and see the beauty in it. This is something school can’t teach your child, so it’s important for parents to consistently find teachable moments to teach what it means to live a full and content life.
So with that Writing Elite fans, are some tips to reviving your parenting style, and if you found this post useful check out these books that will help boost your strategies as you navigate the exciting journey of being a parent. Drop us a comment and let us know what some of your top parenting strategies are, we’d love to hear them!