Overcoming the fear of rejection


One of the first things I learned as a Freelance writer is to overcome my shyness, and fear of rejection. While it seems easy enough from the outside looking in, you actually have to develop a pretty thick skin in order to become successful. Apart from the researching, writing, submitting queries, and interacting with fellow freelancers and editors; for someone as shy as myself it can be a scary place when you’re inexperienced.

This can also apply to other career fields besides writing, in fact, even in actively seeking employment the average person goes through a cycle of rejection that can make the entire process seem like a mountain he/she is reluctant to climb. So what’s the remedy? At some point and time in our careers (… or search of one), social life and other aspects of our lives we are bound to face some rejection; surely there are steps to overcome them when they happen.

Three basic steps towards facing rejection


While it might seem like a daunting task to stare rejection in the eye without allowing it to overcome you, it really isn’t as bad as, or overwhelming as it appears.

1. Not all forms of rejection are personal, but rather some maybe forms of useful criticism – When that job interview you thought went so well, actually doesn’t turn up helping you get your foot in the door, it could be a number of other factors behind it beyond your control. The firsts step to controlling fear is to first be at peace with it.

2. Allow rejection to guide you, oftentimes it isn’t a no, but rather a redirection to try something new, or work on something that you’ve been neglecting.

3. Realize that not everything that you set out as goals are expected to come automatically, progress takes time, as well as patience. If something doesn’t go the way you expect it, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve failed.

These steps aren’t set in stone, of course, however, they are steps I’ve learned in dealing with personal rejection as well as the advice I’ve taken from various other sources. These three steps I feel were beginning steps to help, and I hope they do.  Facing rejection can be a seriously trying thing if not approached with a change in attitude, a new way of looking at it; it can quickly become overwhelming. It can also be turned around and used for motivation, and that is where the steps presented come into play.

What are some ways you have stepped up to the plate and faced your fears? We’d like to hear about it in the comments below.

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